That line is how my Granny Inglis always used to end our phone conversations. She’s not really big on good-byes…
Lately, she hasn’t been clear-headed enough to remember to say this phrase, and I started to miss it, so I’ve been adding it now. It’s been another one of those strange transitions, a handing down of a torch, a passing on of a tradition. It’s another example of me taking on the role of ADULT in my family – let’s face it, I AM 35! – and trying to figure out how to navigate the transition, keep the torch lit, continue the tradition.
This is, I believe, one of the biggest struggles for orphans of any age…how to bridge the gaps…how to keep walking within a family unit without the very important connective tissue that is our parents.
In my case, I am trying to form an identity based on who my parents were, but also (staunchly, stubbornly) to assert my own identity, as well. Not always an easy tightrope from which to fall!
So, back to Granny – she was in the hospital over the weekend, a fact which terrified me to no end. I have two grandmothers still alive – one is in her late 80’s and one is in her early 90’s. Both are incredibly strong women in their own ways. Both have lost a child and a grandchild. Both helped to raise me after Dad died and Mom decided to pursue an MSW, and then an MDiv, anyway. And both of them are starting to age quite a bit these days. Granny’s latest stint in the hospital was a reminder to me of the tenuousness of my own family tree – I have two blood relatives left and she is one of them!
So the question now becomes – what do I do with this?
And one answer I have come up with is to do the thing which maybe is the most difficult emotionally – to spend time with my grandmothers while I still can, even if by phone. I have downloaded “interview” questions about family history which I will ask them each, in order to get to know them, but also to fill in the branches on our tree. And I will appreciate the great love with which God has surrounded me in my family – such a blessing, such a treasure, such a beautiful gift.
I was given life, so that I could live it! To be continued…
[...] didn’t like to say “good-bye” – she prefered a grand “To be continued…” at the end of our phone conversations. Seems like a good way to end a blog post, too…to be [...]