The phone rang tonight at 9:36pm. I was startled by the phone, not because we were even close to bedtime, but because usually when the phone rings after 9pm it is not because the person is calling with good news. I guess I’m cynical – I guess I learned this hardened attitude when Mom was so sick, and when every phone call came with worse news than the one before.
Anyway, I said to Steve, “Who on earth is calling us at this hour?” running to examine the caller ID on the phone and I was relieved to see the name – it was a friend and we had made tentative plans for tomorrow, so surely he was calling to discuss those plans.
He was calling, instead, to let me know of a dear friend’s diagnosis of cancer. A dear friend, who is not much older than I am, who is married to a fantastic man and has two beautiful children. A dear friend, who I’ve never heard say a bad thing about another person, and who has devoted her adult life to serving God and the Church with her music and parenting skills. A dear friend, who cried and laughed (appropriately) on the phone with me and sent me a gift after Mom died. A dear friend.
And – not only does she have cancer, but the same type my mom did (ovarian). And so tonight, with my sadness and anger, I am also sending out a plea to my female friends and the wives of my male friends – please stay vigilant about your health. Please stay current on your exams. Please don’t avoid tests and scans because of what they might reveal. This may seem like an indelicate time to mention all this, but I mention it because I care.
Steve said I shouldn’t get too worked up before I know more – ie, about prognosis, treatment, etc. etc. and, of course, he is right (but don’t tell him I said so!). But I do know that now another family – one who is quite precious to me and to many others – has been touched by this horrible disease. And so tonight, my heart is breaking for my friend and her pain, but also the pain of those around her who love her so much.
If any of you have any good news to share – ever – please call us after 9pm to share. We will gladly receive your news even if you are waking us up. Call us at 2am, if you want, to let us know that you are pregnant, or engaged, or have eloped, or taken a last-minute flight to Tahiti.
And one more piece of advice – from a fortune cookie fortune which hangs above the dresser in our bedroom – “TELL THOSE YOU LOVE THAT YOU DO.”
