This internship thing is really a kicker. Not because the work is hard – I mean, it has its moments (or hours), but I’m enjoying the work lots. The kicker part is the disruption in my life – the being alone part of every week – taking me back to my single days, except that I’m not single anymore. There’s this other person to whom I am committed and with whom I am so in love – and I’m not with him for much of each week.
I’m an introvert, and so coming into internship, I was thinking that the Alone Thing would really be OK because I’d have all this time to re-charge by myself, as I can’t always do around my dear extroverted hubby. What I didn’t expect is to feel so alone and lonely – not just because I am separated from him each week, but also from my home and from my friends. You see, here at my internship site, I am known as “Vicar” to everyone up here – no one knows me just as “Kathi.”
And so, the adjustment for me has been many-layered.
That’s the half-empty part of the glass. Here’s the half-full:
- I get to have my dog up with me most weeks.
- The weather is becoming truly beautiful and refreshing to my spirit.
- I have a safe place to live up here (even if we’ve had a rocky start).
- I have cable and internet now, to keep me connected.
- We increased our cell phone minutes and got unlimited texting, both of which are helping with connections, too.
- I am close enough to head home each week.
- I have great parishioners who are very loving and generous and supportive and I’m getting to do lots of good ministry at my internship congregation.
- In my apartment, I am literally surrounded by the generosity of my friends who loaned/gave me stuff to use here. I love having their support here with me in a tangible form.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself of all I have to be grateful for, even when things are really, really difficult.
