This past week has been a hellish reminder of what it is like to say good-bye.
This time, the good-byes are to a community – a community of my friends and fellow co-workers for Christ – a community made up of people like me and not like me – a community formed out of an idea of justice and righteousness and what those things look like – a community which I never knew was quite so strong nor so cared about until the end of the community was announced.
My seminary program, the Lutheran Seminary Program in the Southwest, in Austin, Texas, will be closing its doors at the end of this year.
We are a small program, swimming in a sea of Episcopalians, with whom we study at the Seminary of the Southwest, and also swimming in the large sea of the ELCA – not as students at one of the larger, more “legitimate” seminaries. Rather, we gather for lunch and worship on Mondays and can cram ourselves into the tight front room of Luther House – of course, depending on where you sit, you might not be able to get up from the table until four others move.
Reactions to this closing have been strong. My own reactions have ranged from the practical (“How the hell am I going to finish this degree now???”) to the angry, to the deep, heavy crying I did in bed the other night.
The degree will happen, and so, while that part promises to be a major inconvenience at best, and a curricular nightmare at worst, that is the least of my concerns.
The more emotional elements are there because of the deep loss I am feeling, and because people I love are also experiencing loss.
I know that the Church has to operate within a social structure which includes finances and that when more red is showing up than black, we have to make tough choices.
I know that the ELCA will be struggling with how to make seminary education work in this century and in the current demographic and economic structures of our society.
I know that Jesus died and rose.
However, I also know that this hurts. It hurts deeply. And I think that naming the hurt, naming the anxiety, naming the pissed-off-ness, helps God to work healing in those areas much faster than denying that they are there at all.
If you are reading this, maybe you know me, maybe you know this program, maybe not. Regardless, I ask you to pray for us. Thanks.
I’m sorry to hear this, Kathi. What exactly are you going to do to finish your degree?
Oh yeah…probably shoulda said something about that!
They are figuring out a curriculum for those who choose to return. They are in conversation with the Episcopal seminary (and possibly the Presbyterian seminary), plus will maintain a small staff of profs to teach. (By small, I mean SMALL…)
It’s all still being sorted out.
Thanks. Love to you and Chris and Max!